Mimpi Buruk

Beberapa hari yang lalu aku mimpi buruk...

Mimpi nya bukan di tagih utang, atau dikejer binatang buas...

Tapi mimpi hendak melaksanakan pernikahan

Entah kenapa kalau aku mimpi mau nikah, pasti keluar keringat dingin..

Dalam mimpi aku dilanda ketakutan luar biasa untuk melakukan pernikahan..

Aku takut hidup ku tidak akan sama lagi dengan menikah

Aku membayangkan kebebasan yang terenggut

Tidak bisa menjadi diri sendiri lagi

Dan ada anak-anak yang akan selalu minta perhatian ku..

Apakah ini cerminan dalam dunia nyata ??

Yang jelas aku belum siap untuk " menikahi " seseorang saat ini

Ada atau tidak ada pacar, saat ini absolutely bukan waktu yang tepat untuk menikah

I'm going to marry..only when the time is right

Dua Pilihan

Mungkin ini adalah salah satu keputusan tersulit yang mesti saya ambil. Memilih antara beasiswa DAAD dan Erasmus Mundus. Bayangkan, yang satu merupakan beasiswa impian saya sedari kecil, yang lain nya beasiswa yang grant nya besar sekali (dasar matre banget ya). Atas pertimbangan dari teman- teman dan para senior, serta tak lupa memohon petunjuk Allah melalui istikharah, akhirnya saya memutuskan Jerman mungkin pilihan yang terbaik. Ada satu lagi yang membuat saya makin mantap memilih Jerman. Ibu saya bilang "lebih baik kamu gak ambil EM, nanti kalau kamu sakit hati sendirian di negara tempat kamu kuliah EM nanti malah runyam ". OK deh, atas nama nurut orang tua saya makin mantap milih DAAD (padahal pertimbangan ibu saya sama sekali bukan karena pilihan taktikal, tapi hanya karena masalah pribadi saja..sudahlah).

Setelah berhasil memutuskan satu masalah, nampaknya masalah lain bermunculan. Sebenarnya bukan masalah sih, hanya fase-fase kehidupan yang mesti dilewati. Mengurus tetek bengek sebelum pindahan akhir Juli nanti lumayan bikin stress juga ternyata. Demi kuliah saya nanti, maka selama 2 bulan terakhir ini saya ikut magang di salah satu Project yang berkecimpung dalam pengurangan infeksi HIV/AIDS di Bandung. Saya memilih untuk bergabung di divisi Health economics. Pfuihhh, ternyata saya merasa sebagai orang paling bodoh di dunia. Ternyata ada yang dinamankan cost analysis, mathematical modelling dan berbagai macam istilah public health lain nya. Temen saya bilang, dengan memulai dari ketidak tahuan kita akan lebih semangat untuk mencari tahu. Dia benar nampaknya. Dalam 2 minggu ini saya sudah baca puluhan jurnal (whew), terpaksa tahu apa itu mathematical modelling, dan tahu juga cara critical appraisal terhadap jurnal ilmiah.

Tapi terus terang sampai hari ini saya masih ketar-ketir juga. Saya merasa saya mungkin orang yang paling tidak berpengalaman nanti pada saat kuliah dimulai di Jerman nanti. Saya cuma anak magang yang tahu sangat sedikit soal Public Health, saya cuma beruntung ternyata aliran nasib telah menulis bahwa saya mendapat kesempatan untuk mencicipi beasiswa DAAD. Pasti banyak orang yang jauh lebih pintar dan berpengalaman dari saya. Mudah-mudahan Tuhan tidak slaah menjatuhkan pilihan nya pada saya.

Essay beasiswa

Banyak temen-temen yang minta dikirimi contoh essay beasiswa saya, supaya adil gimana kalau saya posting disini aja yah, biar yang lain juga bisa ikut baca. Btw, ini bukan murni bikinan saya lho he he, garis besar nya saya ambil dari mas Setio Pramono dan koreksi oleh kak Iwan Adhicandra (maklum waktu itu kan masih newbie).

ESSAY OF STATEMENT

I was still fifteen years of age when I decided to dedicate my life as a health professional. I observed a doctor’s ability to ease the pain has sparked my desire to become a physician. However, during my years in medical school, although I loved and enjoyed learning science of treating diseases, there was still a question in my head such as what if people live healthier, practice preventive medicine, and take precaution against illness and diseases. After completing an internship program in one of the remote and poor community, I knew that I need a career that enable me to help a large number of people, emphasized also on preventive and primary care as well as practicing my previous clinical experience.

While studying at medicine faculty of Maranatha Christian University , I served to the community by promoting the importance of “being healthy” for young people. In addition, I did some social activities in student’s senate. I achieved an excellent performance on my academic record and I believe that it has prepared me to do well in graduate school.

Since a field study is such a valuable learning tool, after graduated from medical school, I joined Indonesian Parenthood Planning Association as a volunteer. I was responsible for doing outreach activities to the rural areas including examining people with health problems and giving them free medical check-ups. Soon I learned that many diseases especially in poverty-related health problems could be minimized if there were sufficient and appropriate programs to response all those problems.

Currently, I am working as a full-time staff at the Indonesian Parenthood Planning Association (IPPA). It is a non government organization, which mainly focus on reproductive health and HIV/AIDS. Working for the IPPA has given me insights that there are still many works to be done to reduce maternal deaths (as one of the IPPA’s mission statement) and how important a family planning program is to our country. Some of my tasks include persuading and giving counseling to women or couples who will choose a method of contraception. I have seen that some health related problems in low income families are worse by having many children. The IPPA stands for giving an access to Indonesians to get information about reproductive health using wide range of media, so during these past few years I worked on a radio program that enable me to communicate with audiences about reproductive health in general. Since the impact of HIV/AIDS is also spreading fast in Indonesia, we also concern about how to overcome the increasing incidence of this pandemic disease.

Eventhough my undergraduate studies have given me a strong background about reproductive health and HIV/AIDS or health in general, it is not enough for me to be able to initiate programs that would improve the delivery of health services in efficient, sustainable, and equitable ways. Today, there is no any person holding a Master’s degree in International Health in my institution. These circumstances persuade me to apply for Master of Science in International Health under DAAD Scholarship.

Master’s degree in International Health is needed in Indonesia because of the following reasons :

1. Health delivery system in Indonesia shows a need for more improved health policy, more efficient organization and management at all level of health delivery system including for non government organization.

2. The increasing flow of goods, people and information from one country to another have given challenges, threats and also opportunities to health and health care delivery.

After completing a Master’s degree in International Health I would like to apply skills and competencies to my current institution, so we, can efficiently formulate and giving appropriate strategies as a response for some challenges and complex issues. In long term, I am interested in a possibility of using my understanding in International Health to impact public policy in the area of public health.

I would consider myself to be a good candidate for the DAAD scholarship because I am a young, energetic, hardworking, visionary and motivated person who believes that I can contribute something for the benefit of my country. I have done my best with all maximum efforts that I could give to my organization. But I am not satisfied yet for what I have done. I believe that I will do much better if I am trained and developed through a Master of Science in International Health. This scholarship will also provide me an opportunity of experiencing an international education. Being in Germany with many students from different culture and nationalities would allow me to meet different kind of people who will give me different point of views that will be valuable and enriching.

Die Liebe meines Lebens

Ih suchte dich, die Liebe meines Lebens, doch ich fand dich nicht.
Leere tauchte in mir auf, Hoffnung dich irgendwo zu begegnen.
mein Weg war lang, den Weg den ich nahm war sehr lang.
Kein Ende in sicht, brachte mich in ein Schwarzes Loch der Hoffnunglosigkeit.
Irgendwo warst du, nur wo?
Ich gab nicht auf, dachte nur an dich und musste dich finden um mein Geist der erfuellt war von dir endlich zu erloesen.
Schmetterlinge die in mir gefangen waren, frei zu lassen.
Doch um so mehr ich dich suchte, starb immer mehr mein Herz dich zu finden.
Was mach ich nur ?
Ich muss dich finden um dir meine Gefuehle zu uebermitteln, dir zu sogen wie huebsch du fur mich bist,wie sehr ich dich brauche und wie sehr ich dich liebe !!
Irgendwo bist du !
Ich gib nicht auf, den du wartest, weil ich fuehle und weiss das du mich auch liebst !